Dance
by coffee dazed
Summary: it was a short reela fic but has now been expanded. its new years, the roomies have dates, so why aren't they really happy? you won't need 10 guesses why not...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** The usual, I don't own ER, blah-de-blah

**Note: **just a really quick one-shot that occurred to me in between work. Hope u like it.

Neela sighed as he put his hand through her long, thick wavy hair, gently stroking it as they moved slowly, smoothly across the dancefloor.

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They were dancing cheek-to-chest at the New Year's Party and Neela knew then that in Ray's arms was where she always wanted to be.

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Ray breathed in the soft scent of her perfume, his chin balanced gently on the top of her head. The music was a slow number, designed to bring couples even closer together and it seemed to be working.

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Neela was as close to him as decently possible in public.

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Neela and Ray sensed each other's need and their eyes met and locked in an unwavering gaze.

Not for a second did their eyes leave the other as the couples twirled by. Ray and Katey. Neela and Gates.

**What do u think? Like the twist? Please review, thx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own ER, etc (you know the drill by now :p )

**Note: **Ahh, the angst! Oh, also you can put this in any time-frame you like. You just need to know that there was never any accident and no whacking off of legs ever took place.

Ray couldn't help it, couldn't take his eyes off Neela who was the most beautiful vision in a night-blue, plunge-back halterneck dress. He knew he was supposed to be getting over her, knew that she had established herself with Gates now but … But what? But he was still in love with her. He nearly scoffed out loud. It didn't matter how often he told himself to move on, he was like a mouse in a maze, always running around hoping to find the exit but forever taking wrong turns that took him back to the beginning again. And this was one of those turns…

"Ray?"

He looked down to see Katey's face tilted up to his, an almost beatific smile lighting up her face. Ray swallowed back the guilt that he was feeling and smiled in return.

"Katey?"

"I just wanted to say that I'm having a great time here with you tonight." She nestled back against his chest again and let out a small contented sigh.

Ray put his arm further round Katey's waist, "Me too". The lie left a bitter taste in his mouth, or rather, it was a half-lie. Katey was beautiful and clearly into him and he was glad to have her with him and he _was_ having a great time. However, it was a great time of the masochistic type because despite his inner lack of enthusiasm for the party itself, he would have crossed the country just to be in the same place as Neela regardless of who she was with.

The few, short minutes they had spent with just their eyes boring into each other was proof of that. Then the music stopped and the spell was broken.

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Neela tried to bury the jealousy that had been building within her as she watched Ray pull Katey ever closer to him as they danced. It was foolish, she had made her choice, the easiest choice which helped her to move on from Michael, or so it had seemed at the time. Now, she wasn't so sure or perhaps it was the opposite and she had been so sure of the right choice that she had run from it as fast as she could, hiding from the sense of betrayal that would sweep over her if she had taken it. So she had let him go and turned to ready-and-waiting arms of Gates.

And now? Well, she supposed she had to make the best of it. Gates was cute in a rough-and-tumble manner and he did amuse her and more importantly, he was nothing like anyone she had gone for before.

As they danced, Neela rested her head against her partner's tuxedoed chest and closed her eyes, fighting the dark feeling inside her which threatened to swallow her up if she allowed herself to acknowledge it. Suddenly, she opened her eyes, sensing that she was being watched. Neela looked up to find Ray's green orbs locked on her and she couldn't look away. So many emotions that swirled and simmered on both their parts, none of which could be spoken. At least, not just now.

She was faintly aware of shouting and cheering in the background but it had just become a buzz of white noise to her.

Suddenly, she was no longer moving to music but instead, Gates had swept her up in his arms and had locked his mouth against hers in a deep kiss before pulling back and shouting,

"Happy New Year!"

_Ahh, that must've been 'The Bells' all the noise was about._ Neela recovered herself and returned the greeting as gold and silver streamers rained down upon the party-goers. She forced a grin which almost slipped when she glanced across and saw Ray and Katey engaged in a protracted and passionate kiss. Neela quickly turned away, so quickly that she missed seeing Ray open his eyes to look for her as he tried to disengage from Katey.

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Sometime later, Neela slipped away to the roof terrace as Gates held court, meeting and greeting anyone he came across and regaling them with various anecdotes on any subject they might care to mention. She needed air as well as the double bourbon which she had firmly clasped in her hand. It was quiet so she didn't notice him as she leaned over the railing to look down at the throngs of people still out on the streets.

"Don't do it, it's not worth it," he teased jokingly.

Startled, Neela looked up at the voice and smiled at Ray.

"Good party isn't it?" she gestured expansively with the bourbon glass. "Where's Katey?" She had to ask even though she knew there was no need for her to do so.

"Some of her friends managed to get tickets for here so they're around somewhere, catching up and all that stuff." Ray paused, he couldn't help himself either, "Gates?"

"Much the same as Katey, I guess. I just needed to get some quiet time up here, its so busy." Neela pursed her lips, unsure of what else to say and so regretting what she said next.

"You didn't wear a tux." It was more statement than question but she wanted to kick herself as she thought he would think she was slighting him about his choice of clothing.

"I mean, everyone else is but you look great in that." She stopped, it wasn't coming out right at all. She truly did mean that he looked extremely good in the well-cut, tailored black suit and tie but the words weren't doing what they were supposed to.

"Sorry, I mean…"

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"It's alright, I know what you mean." Ray put Neela out of her misery

"Thanks, you look stunning, yourself." _Why _stunning Ray thought that might have been a bit strong.

"Thanks." They stood just an arms-length apart, both too awkward and tongue-tied to say anything else. It was ironic considering how much time they used to spend in each other's company and never ran out of things to say.

"Oh," Neela remembered something and surprised Ray by stepping close to him, leaning up and kissing him lightly on the cheek, "Happy New Year. I didn't get a chance to say it to you back then."

There was plenty she hadn't had a chance to say but that was a completely different 'back then' altogether.

Ray smiled, gently put his hand on her arm and returned the greeting, both of them felt a burning warmth where lips had brushed cheeks. They regarded each other silently once more before…

"There you are, I was wanting you to meet one of my closest friends." Katey was fast approaching them with a smiling red-head in tow.

**Let me know how this story is taking you so far, you know what to do :D x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Guess what? I don't own ER, etc (is this strictly necessary with each separate chapter? If anyone can enlighten me, please let me know 

**Note:** thanks everyone for ur lovely reviews. Wasn't sure that it was going to be well-received after initial idea but u have proved me otherwise. Apologies for any discrepancies in events, memory of details are a bit hazy due to not having seen relevant episodes for a while.

Neela stepped back a pace or two as Katey and her friend made a bee-line towards her and Ray.

Katey's broad smile took in everyone and when she reached Neela, gave her a warm hug, kiss and a 'Happy New Year' for good measure. All Neela could do was return the gesture and try to hide her mild unease. It had taken quite a while for the two women to reach an amicable understanding, more on Katey's part given her knowledge of Ray and Neela's past. Eventually, though, Katey had relaxed, taking comfort in the knowledge that she had finally got her man when Neela opted for Gates and that comfort made the Psych intern more benevolent towards the surgical resident who she had once perceived as her love-rival.

"Honey," Katey addressed Ray, "this is Laurie, my bestest friend since high school, she teaches high school English in New York. She's through visiting 'til the end of this week. Laurie, this Ray." Katey and her friend exchanged a smile which told Ray that Laurie already knew who he was. "Oh, and this is Neela, she showed me round on my ER rotation." Another knowing smile.

All the time that the four of them exchanged pleasantries, Neela racked her brains for a some way to leave the terrace without making it obvious that she was running.

"Hey, Mayday." She could have cried with relief, thank God for Gate's inbuilt, almost disconcerting, tracking system that always found her wherever she was. His eyes took in the scene and he smiled benignly at the new face who was regarding him with a slightly startled expression that was quickly replaced by a benign smile of her own.

"Tony," Neela slipped her arm through his, "I was just going to come and find you, get a last dance before the party ends. It was nice to meet you, Laurie." She nodded to Katey and Ray before herding Gates back down the stairs, "See you guys later. Happy New Year."

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Ray put on a brave face as he watched Katey smile at her friend, staking her claim on him. _Heck, she may as well just plant a flag on me!_ At least Neela was still there, albeit she had put a goodly distance between them when Katey arrived. He detected the faint sense of panic that was coming from Neela before right on cue…Gates. It was _always_ Gates. Ray wouldn't have been happy about it being someone else other than him either but he wished that Neela could have at least picked someone he didn't hate quite so much as the cocky, arrogant intern.

Katey didn't notice Ray's wistful gaze as he watched his ex-roomie depart with her more-than-a-little tipsy partner but she _had_ noticed Laurie's look of recognition when she saw Gates. _Interesting…she would have to find out more._

After some more chat, Katey's other friends found the roof terrace and eventually, the group also moved back down to the main party where the band was winding up the festivities and couples were taking the opportunity to have the last dance. Ray let Katey lead him onto the floor while he scanned the room with no success. They must have already left. He closed his eyes he and Katey slow-danced, again trying to fight the guilt as his mind immediately and involuntarily imagined that it was the delicate form of a certain surgical resident that was pressed close against him.

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She pushed the door closed with her foot then propped Gates up as she guided him to his bed, finally letting him drop onto the mattress. Neela did her best to arrange him in a comfortable position, covering him with a duvet before straightening her coat and adjusting her handbag. She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"I'll stop by in the morning."

"But it's New Year's, you gotta stay over, we're still celebrating," his eyes showed confusion and he reached out to pull her down to him. "There's still lots of fun to be had." He grinned wickedly.

Firmly but gently, Neela removed his hand from her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Tony, I'm just not feeling so good. I think it's the mix of drinks and the buffet seafood that I had."

The lie was weak and she knew it but it was the best she could come up with. Luckily, Gates was pretty smashed and he didn't put up too much of a fight as the softness of his bed quickly lulled him to sleep.

Neela let herself out and began the not-too-far walk back to her own apartment, smiling back at the revellers who continued to celebrate in the streets which had partly iced over. She hugged herself, both against the cold Chicago winter and to comfort herself against the image of Ray with another woman. Head down against the biting wind, Neela tried to go as quickly as she could in the high, strappy heels which she had bought especially to go with the dress. _Stupid heels, you lose your balance or you fall 'cos there's no grips. Either way you break your neck!_ Concentrating on not losing her footing, Neela found herself head-butting someone's chest with some force.

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"Ow! Hey watch it! Oh…hey…" the annoyance in the voice faded as Neela looked up, apologising at the same time.

"I'm sorry, I was trying not to lose…oh…um, are you OK? I was, uh, trying not to fall…um…yeah…"

Ray's voice was soft as he tried levity. "Good thing I was here to catch you then, huh?" He wished she had let him catch her after Michael had died, then it could all have been so different now. "How come you're walking anyway?" _If he's ditched her for some bit of fluff, I'll kill him._

The depth of concern touched Neela more than she ever expected.

"Oh, Tony needed to get some sleep and I wasn't really feeling like partying anymore…" Neela looked around before adding, "and you?"

His expression changed to something that she couldn't read and his tone had a hint of resignation in it.

"Katey and her friends are doing the whole catch-up thing, fair enough as they haven't seen each other properly for a over a year. They've gone back to one of the hotels and I wasn't up to being the on-show token guy."

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Neela smiled sympathetically but didn't say anything. Before, she would have made some crack about trophy-men or some such thing but now she didn't feel she had the right to do so. They stood in silence again, it seemed to have become the norm for them to not know what to say to each other. Finally, Neela broke it.

"Listen, you don't have to come, but I've still got drinks in the house and we've never really had a chance to catch up." _There, she had done it._

Her heart thumped and her stomach twisted as she watched Ray hesitate, saw an inner struggle. She regretted her offer, believing that he thought she was just out to hurt him all over again when it was the very farthest thing from her mind. At last, he spoke.

"Sure, that sounds good," His voice was calm even though his insides were roiling about.

They completed the rest of the walk in virtual silence except for the odd times when Neela would grab his arm when one of her feet hit a patch of ice and she had to stop herself from landing on her bum. Those moments would have Neela mumbling apologies in embarrassment and Ray mumbling back placations that he didn't mind. If neither of them knew any better, they would have sworn it was like a dreaded first date at high school!

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They stopped at a short flight of stone steps.

Neela turned to Ray, "This is me." She turned back to start walking up, not looking back.

A slow second passed then Ray followed her.

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**Note: **Phew, sorry bout the length, it just kind of kept going


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I'm still never going to own ER. Also, no intended infringement on Veuve Cliquot-Ponsardin Champagne House (its fabulous!!)

**Note: **would have updated sooner but have just moved flats and it's box-unpacking madness, should become a professional nomad! Anyhoo, here's the next instalment. Lots of sparkly thanks to all of u for the reviews xxx

Neela flicked on the light switch as Ray closed the front door behind him. Looking up to view Neela's new abode, he felt his heart skip a beat and he had to blink a couple of times to take in the sight. It was almost the same layout as his apartment when they had been roomies with furniture placed in much the same positions. _Was this deliberate on Neela's part or had it been a subconscious action?_

As if reading his mind, Ray's ex-roomie smiled a little sheepishly.

"It's ok, you're not in the twilight zone. When I moved in I spent ages trying to arrange everything and eventually the most practical way was like how it was at our…uh…your place." She shook her head slightly at the slip hoping that Ray hadn't noticed. Moving quickly on, Neela headed to the fridge and peered inside, "What's your poison? There's the usual in here…"

"Uh, I'll just take a beer." Ray was surprised by how quickly and easily they slipped back into their old comfortable habits. He was equally surprised by how similarly she had kept her apartment as he had imagined she would have completely changed everything when everything around them, between them, had changed.

Neela returned from the fridge armed with a couple of bottles and an opener. Automatically, they sat down together on the squashy sofa, popped the caps and propped their feet up on the coffee table. It was as if they had gone back to a time where they had no cares other than work, gigs and Celebrity Poker.

Ray _had_ noticed the slip and as they sipped silently at their beers, he wanted nothing more than to ask Neela to return to _their_ apartment. After the initial heartache of watching Neela speed away in the taxi and returning to a now half-empty apartment, Ray had thought he would simply restore it to the bachelor pad of old. However, having spent an hour moving things around, he realised that he didn't want to go back to pre-Neela days and so took another hour to move things back again.

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"Oh God, I remember that! Dubenko had me in such a panic about my presentation I had to get you to fax me all those bloody data tables…much good it did me in the end!"

A couple of hours and several beers later had seen them chatting and reminiscing like old times with no sign of any of the earlier tension. Neela had long since kicked off her shoes which were now residing in a far corner of the room and Ray was in his customary slouch, suit jacket slung carelessly over the back of the sofa. The laughter felt good, it had been such a long time since either of them had been able to let go so completely and it was the type laughter that could only be shared by people who knew each other inside out.

Now though, Neela's big grin slowly faded as she remembered the events that followed that presentation, the self-revelations that had led to her decision to move out. Ray's grin had also dimmed as his mind recalled that night. The silence returned until, at last, Ray spoke, uncaring about the possible consequences.

"So what happened? Why then?" His brows were knitted with confusion, his eyes conveying many other unvoiced questions.

For a fleeting moment, Neela considered pleading ignorance as to the subject of Ray's enquiry before rejecting that course of action. She owed him much more than that but where to begin? She had spent so much energy not thinking about it that even she was no longer sure of the exact timing.

Minutes passed where Ray thought that she was simply going to ignore him until…

"It…it…was after the presentation," Neela stammered the first sentence, tripping over her words, "we…uh…we were in the bar and talking about previous professional disasters when I was telling Dubenko about how much I would…um… rather be at home hanging out with my…my…room-mate." Neela didn't look up, preferring to keep her eyes focused on the beer label.

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The bottle stopped mid-way to Ray's lips when he heard her last words. He had had no idea, not really, he had thought it was more wishful thinking on his part. Ray didn't speak, knew that he had to let Neela carry on in her own time.

"That was when. I was married, it should have been that I would rather have been with my husband but…" Neela took a deep breath, "…but he didn't even cross my mind, not 'til afterwards anyway." Her thumbnail had begun picking at the label, scraping at the glue.

"It wasn't right. I had to choose." Her voice was calm and it was now that she looked directly in his eyes.

His breath caught in his throat. Her liquid brown eyes were pleading with him to understand. How could he not? Michael was a decent guy and Neela being the person she was could never have forgiven herself for any betrayal even if it were for the right reasons.

"And Gates?" Gates, he couldn't forgive.

"I told you at the wedding, he was new, easy…"

Ray snorted at the word "easy". Neela brought her attention back to the label, unable to meet Ray's eyes anymore. He immediately felt bad and he instinctively took her hand. "I'm sorry, Neela, it's just that, well, I mean _Gates_ of all people!" He couldn't hide his frustration.

"I know," her voice was small. "I don't know what else to say…or do."

_Do? What did she mean do?_ Puzzlement entered green eyes as he asked, "How do you mean?" _Dare he hope? Look what had happened last time he did that!_

"I don't love him and I don't want to love him." Neela closed her eyes. "I wish…I wish I had done things differently."

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Neela held onto Ray's hand as tightly as she dared to. He had always known what to do, even at the start before any feelings had got in the way. Although they had fought like cat and dog in the early days of living together, they had eventually fallen into a steady rhythm where he would make a mess, she would tidy up and then he would apologise by bringing home pizza with extra anchovies.

Now he was sitting next to her again, she felt safe, safe enough that she had told him the secret which she had hadn't been able to tell anyone, not even Abby. It was funny, she was supposed to be 'the sensible one' and inside, she felt anything but. To make matters worse, it had taken months of pushing her old flat-mate into Katey's arms to make her realise her mistake and the only way to solve it was to hurt at least 2 more people in the process with no guarantee of happiness for either herself or Ray.

Suddenly, Neela jumped up off the sofa and made her way back to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Veuve Cliquot-Ponsardin. She had been saving it for a while and she guessed that now was as good a time as any to open it.

"Neela, are you sure that's such a good idea? It's kinda late." Ray's tone was doubtful.

She glanced at the clock on the sideboard, 3.47am. Neela shrugged, "It's New Year and champagne is made for celebrations, right?" She paused. "It's ok, you don't have to stay if you need to get back." Her fingers began peeling off the foil top and untwisting the little wire cap.

Ray watched her for a moment then sighed softly to himself, he was going to have to make it up to Katey big-time for this. He got up and moved across to Neela. "Here, you get the glasses and I'll uncork it."

There was a satisfying 'pop', champagne was poured and they clinked their glasses together before savouring that first sip.

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It was after 5 in the morning now and they were slumped together on the sofa, a new bottle of wine opened. Although definitely not sober, their drinking had been the steady kind which once far enough along, had led the drinkers into retrospective mood.

"If anybody had told me that life was going to be this hard, I would have asked for my money back." Neela frowned at Ray's laughter at her remark. "It's true, they don't give you a handbook or anything! Just, 'there you go, enjoy!'. Nobody to look after you, keep a look out for you."

Ray moved back slightly to regard her, surprised. "That's not true, there's always someone there." His voice softened. "you just need to notice them."

She said nothing, knew he was right. It was a little while before she replied.

"I think I looked too hard after Michael. Didn't see what was right in front of me at the time or for a long time after that."

"And now?" his voice a whisper.

"Now? Now, I think I'm too late."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Waves baton. Ok everyone, all together now after 3… 1, 2, 3…"I don't own ER and never will!" :p

**Note: **a bit more of Katey, Gates and Laurie in this one as previous chapters have left me obliged expand their story. Brace yourselves, it could be a bit of an epic as not sure how long this one is going to be! Maybe arm yourselves with some rations :D

On a serious note, apologies if description of traumatic event has inaccuracies, have tried to keep it as realistic as possible but have little medical knowledge of it.

_Too late?_ Ray could hardly believe what he was hearing. Ever since THAT kiss, Neela had never spoken of it again after the one time he had raised the subject at Sam's birthday and Ray had never pushed her on it. Now, here they were with her saying words that he had only dreamt about and the reality of the situation was all too apparent.

Why couldn't she have said all this just a couple of months ago when they were both basically free agents? Why now when they had both declared themselves as unavailable with the only two people who could complicate matters further?

Ray was speechless, completely torn as to what to do. His brain was telling him to go _now_ before he got hurt again, that Neela was drunk and was doing that whole drunk-and-emotional thing but his heart? Well, it was positively screaming at him to take Neela in his arms and tell her that it wasn't too late, that he would always be with her.

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Neela could only watch helplessly as she waited on some sort of reply from Ray who wasn't even looking at her now. She knew it was a mistake telling him and even though she hadn't named names, he would have to be brain-dead not to know what she was talking about. The time had finally arrived to lift the curtains on her feelings and to explain to him the whys and wherefores which had influenced her decisions since Michael's death. She also knew that it had been unfair of her to spring it on him now, especially at New Year when the woman who had fought so hard to win him was currently sitting with her close friends and beaming about how lucky she was to have Ray Barnett.

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"So spill, is he 'The One'?" As Laurie voiced the question, she and two other young women leaned conspiratorially closer to Katey.

Katey blushed, looked down, looked up again at her friends. "I hope so. He really means a lot to me." It had been a long race to get to where she was with Ray now and although she supposed she had emerged the winner, there had been a few, rare occasions where she sensed that the situation between Ray and Neela was not yet resolved.

Laurie clapped her hands in pleasure at her friend's happiness and the four women clinked glasses and toasted the coming year. As Katey took a drink, her eyes took on a speculative look and she turned to the red-head.

"So…what's the story with you and Gates?" Knowing her friend was skilled in the art of changing the subject, the Psych intern knew better than to beat about the bush.

Laurie spluttered on her wine, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Tony?"

"Oh ho, Tony, is it? You never let on that you knew him."

"You never asked and besides, it was a long time ago," Laurie had recovered her composure and had taken on a slightly defensive position.

"Ok. So what _was_ the story with you and Gates?" Katey was nothing if not tenacious.

Laurie sighed and rolled her eyes. "If I tell, none of you are to bring it up again," her look took in all of the group.

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The camera clicked its shutter and the flashbulb popped. With the picture developed, Laurie had a copy made and stuck it lovingly into her personal photo-album with a caption written beneath it.

'_High school graduation. Me and Tony forever xxx'_

She smiled a happy smile to herself, they had been through so much with each other. Not only the fact that he was so much older than her but that he was in the army and away for long periods of time. Everybody had said it was just a teenage crush she had but, together, they had weathered the storms. But only just.

The biggest challenge by far had been the miscarriage. Of course it had been the biggest shock of their lives when she had first realised she was pregnant but he had been nothing but supportive, going so far as to plan his leaving the military to get a civilian job and support a new family. Laurie hadn't told anybody of her condition, didn't know how to face her parents – the anger she could cope with but not the disappointment, that would be too much to bear. She knew she would have to get round to it eventually and Tony promised to be by her side when the time came but that time never arrived.

Instead, after only 2 and a half months, Laurie was woken in the early hours with terrible stomach cramps and bleeding. Tony, who happened to be with her at the time immediately called for an ambulance but by the time they reached the hospital, it was too late. The staff there did everything they could but to no avail. Her treatment healed her physical symptoms and although she had also been offered counselling, Laurie had declined, determined to try to resume 'normal' life.

Tony had been great throughout everything, giving as much support as she needed, taking time to look after her every wish and although there had been the very dark spells when the enormity of the event made itself known, she gradually came through it with Tony still by her side.

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Gates splashed water onto his face and studied himself in the mirror of the gents' toilets. He wished there had been some way to get out of going to the graduation ball but there hadn't and there was no escape. Nearly a year had passed since his girlfriend's miscarriage and although he still loved her, he guessed he was no longer _in love_ with her. Not only that, she really was _young_ and it was never more apparent than it was now. He could hear the squeals of teenaged girls through the closed door of the toilets and frowned at his reflection.

It had been different at the start. He was flattered that such a beautiful girl was chasing him, it was definitely an ego boost and she actually did have something to say for herself. Moreover, it was the challenge of proving everybody wrong that had been the greatest attraction. Now, that he _had_ proved them wrong, some of the shine had dimmed and just as he was on the cusp of breaking up with her, Laurie had given him the 'happy news'.

What could he do? He couldn't just walk away from her, he wasn't a total bastard and as they say, 'It takes two to tango'.

Now, though, time had indeed been a great healer and Gates's thoughts turned back to how he wanted _his _life to move on. Straightening his tie, he dried his face with a paper towel and went back into the fray.

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Laurie was having the time of her life, despite the traumas, she had still graduated with flying colours and the future was bright. She spent the last hour or so with her friends, looking back on the past few years and discussing various plans for university, swapping new addresses and making promises to keep in wherever they all happened to be. As the ball drew to a close, she went searching for Tony who had said something about going for some air but he was nowhere in sight.

She made her way to the corridor which led to the toilets and turning the corner, she gasped at what she saw. Tony and one of the senior girls locked in a clinch which could only be described as 'steamy' by anyone's standards. Cheeks flushed with anger and humiliation, Laurie marched up to the oblivious couple and yanked the girl back by the hair before giving Tony a full-force punch in the face. She didn't look back as she stormed out of the building and Tony didn't make any move to go after her.

Any hope she may have had that he would beg her to take him back disappeared after 3 weeks with no contact from him whatsoever and after many tears, Laurie bagged up any remnants of his things and threw it into the trash. And that was that. No calls, letters, nothing.

In her photo-album was a space where once there was not and a caption that had been scored through with black marker many times over until the words had been obliterated.

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"_That_ was _Gates_??!!" Katey was incredulous. "I…I don't know what to say. I never put two and two together. I thought I would have recognised him anywhere! He looks so different from what I remembered!" Her eyes were full of remorse. "I'm sorry. I never thought he would appear again. If I had realised, I would have…"

"Don't," Laurie cut her off, "you know how long it took to get over him. I really don't want to go there again." Her whole demeanour brooked no argument.

The four women embraced in a group hug but fire burned inside Katey. _I swear he's going to pay!_

As if she had psychic powers, Laurie pulled away and eye-balled Katey.

"I mean it. Don't."

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**Note: **alrighty, hope u all survived this chapter. Will try not to make 'em so long in future :D x

Ok, I know I turned Gates into an absolute toss-pot but it's in the long-term interest of the roomies.


	6. Chapter 6

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own ER, etc.

**Note: **Sorry for the huge delay in updating! Home and work just seemed to explode at same time so have been spending all my time trying to sort stuff out but now all seems to be ticking along smoothly and can get back to sorting out the roomies.

This will be more about moving ray and neela onwards through their angst.

* * *

After what seemed to be a lifetime, Ray finally spoke.

"I can't believe you're choosing _now_ to say all of this." He couldn't keep the frustration out of his voice, "That's some kind of lousy timing."

It wasn't the reply that Neela had always dreamed of but it was a start, at least he was talking again. He was looking down at his hands, intently studying his interlaced fingers so that he wouldn't have to meet her soulful dark eyes. She watched him for a few moments as she tried to gather her own thoughts, trying to find the right place to start explaining. When Neela realised that that was the extent of what Ray had to say for the time being, she decided that she may as well plough on with the conversation that could no longer be avoided.

"I know, but then you knew that timing was never my thing," Neela's attempt at light-heartedness sank like lead and she quickly cleared her throat before continuing. Ray was still being fascinated by his nails and had she not known better, she would have thought he couldn't hear a word she was saying.

"Ray, I don't know when exactly everything changed, I...I guess definitely after I moved in. We were so busy doing our own things, work, music, whatnot. Then Michael came back and…and…" Neela didn't want to complete the sentence, it seemed too cruel in light of Ray's feelings but he finished it for her.

"And you married him." Ray's tone was flat but there was no rebuke in it, he was merely stating a fact.

"Yeah." She paused again. "Then he went back to war." This time it was Neela's tone that was flat.

Ray made no reply, there was no need. Everyone knew the outcome of that.

"But it was during all of this…all of us…when we, uh, began to get on better and after that my feelings…changed." She was at a loss for a better word to describe what she had felt. "It just sort of crept up on me."

At last, Ray looked up at her. "Are you trying to say that I creep? I thought I was smoother than that." A half-smile but a smile nonetheless. Relief entered Neela's eyes as a familiar twinkle returned to Ray.

Now it was her turn to study her hands. "When he died," it still hurt to say Michael's name, not the sharp stab new pain but the dull ache of an old wound not properly healed, "I felt so guilty. Like maybe if I hadn't felt the way I felt about you, then it would never have happened, if I hadn't betrayed him…"

"Oh, Neela." Ray was shocked at how deeply she seemed to blame herself for something that was beyond her control. "You had nothing to do with what happened, that was in another world, nothing you could have done about it."

"I know, Ray, I know that." Her voice was sharp. "But, maybe…" The words drifted, she felt stupid.

"I wanted to help you, I tried to help you." Now it was Ray who wished that the person he was speaking to would look at him.

"I know that too but I couldn't let you. I couldn't let myself."

Ray was confused, "Neela, you've lost me."

She met his eyes and he was frightened by the depth of sorrow he saw in her.

"Ray, apart from feeling the obvious, I felt so guilty…no, not what you already said, "she cut him off, "I felt guilty 'cos there was a tiny part of me that was thinking…was thinking…" Neela felt sick at what she was about to say. "That now I didn't need to worry about Michael if I let you know how I felt." She looked away from him again, shame flooding her. "That's how horrible I am. That's why I couldn't let you near me because if I did, it would make everything true." She knew that she wasn't making much sense anymore but she didn't really care as the tears began to fall.

Instinct took over as Ray immediately wrapped his arms around her, cradling her close to him.

"Neela, you gotta listen to me. It's not your fault, you can't help how you feel but that doesn't make you the one to kill him. And you're not horrible at all. I can't believe you've been thinking that all this time."

He could have screamed, more at himself, for being so helpless, for not knowing how to make the person he loved more than the whole world feel better. He knew what he had to say, what was true for both of them.

Ray placed gentle fingers under Neela's chin and tilted her face up to his.

"You're not too late."

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**Note:****hope that was worth the wait, let me know x**


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

**Disclaimer: **See previous chapters

**Note: **big thanks to everyone who has stuck by the (slow) progress of this story and given reviews. Here is more about ray's dilemma – what to do about katey? Does he tell or will she find out? I dunno either, will find out together when I finish this chapter Ah, now I finished chapter, have given it M rating due to language and teeny sexual reference, not an implication on Ray ;p

* * *

The door handle turned slowly, quietly. A muted curse and soft footsteps. Katey groaned and screwed up her eyes to look at the bedside clock. Just coming on 8.0am. She hadn't arrived at the apartment until some 3 hours ago and had been just a little surprised that Ray hadn't been there. Still, it _was_ New Year and any number of people he knew could have bumped into him and kept him in their company. After all. she wasn't the jealous type, right? Right?

Katey watched Ray pick his way gingerly across to the bed and smiled up at him as he leaned over to kiss her forehead. _He didn't seem too drunk, that was a good sign – shouldn't have been up to any mischief._

"Thought you would have been home before me."

"Yeah, me too but I came across Gregg and Hope on the way and got caught up with them." Ray sighed inwardly. _That's lie no.1. Not exactly a great start._

"Weren't they working 'til tonight?" Katey sounded slightly puzzled.

"Nah, think they said they had swapped with someone else." _Shit! Lie no.2 and he had only been back 5 minutes! He would have to call Gregg as well to cover him. Only one thing to do…change the subject!_

"How was your night? Good time catching up with your girls?"

Katey grinned. "Yeah, it was so much fun, I forget how much I miss them, especially Laurie." Despite filling him on any news, Katey couldn't say why she deliberately omitted her new-found knowledge about Gates, she just knew that Ray's reaction would probably be more to do with Neela than anything else.

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Ray lay awake for a long time after Katey's soft even breathing told him she had fallen asleep some time ago. He just didn't know what the hell he was going to do which was different to knowing what he _wanted_ to, something that he had no doubts about at all. Closing his eyes, Ray instantly remembered the events of just a few hours ago…

"_You're not too late." His fingers had traced down her cheeks, wiping away the tears, moved lightly over her lips. His breath had caught in his throat when he felt her body press even closer against his, her hand moving to cover his. Their faces barely centimetres apart__ and getting closer when she suddenly pulled away. What the…? Was this just another game to her?_

"_Ray, I can't. Katey…" She continued to pull apart from him._

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! He couldn't believe that after all the waiting when he had been so close, _they_ had been so close, it was _him_ who now had to sort out his love-life. Hang on, she still had Gates._

"_What about you and Gates?"_

"_We hadn't said to anyone, we broke up a week ago but we already had the tickets to this dinner-dance thing so we decided just to make the best of it." She smiled sheepishly. "They were really expensive and it would have been such a waste of money not to have gone."_

_Fuck!_

_They had sat together for the rest of the bottle of wine, bodies close to each other, the air between them heavy with mutual need but punctuated with forced light-heartedness. At last when they could just about stand it no longer, Ray made his excuses and left with a dull ache in his heart and groin._

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Ray swung his long legs out of bed and sat on the edge, his head was beginning to pound, a lethal combination of too much alcohol, lack of sleep and a large romantic problem. He glanced over his shoulder at Katey. He had spent so much time trying to convince her that Neela was no longer an issue for him and when she had finally relented to his persistence, how could he now turn around and tell her that she had been right all along?! Pulling open the bedside drawer, he rummaged around until he felt his hand close around the carton of ibuprofen and codeine.

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Katey heard his search for painkillers and opened her eyes, silently studied his back as a pensive frown appeared on her brow. She had been woken by Ray's restless form shifting about but had pretended to be asleep, trying to quell a flutter of panic that was making itself known. She knew for a fact that Pratt was the attending on duty over the New Year Holiday as she had happened to be present when he and Morris had flipped a coin to decide who would cover Christmas and New Year. There _was_ no-one else to swap with as Luka had managed to wangle time off to have a proper family Christmas with Abby and Joe.

Why would Ray lie about who he was with unless… No, she and Gates had left the dance well before they had. There was no way Ray could have met her…could he? Katey told herself to stop it, that was what had taken her so long to get him in the first place, she had been so paranoid about Neela that she could hardly believe it when Ray had pursued her so hard and it was why she had taken so long to agree to go out with him.

She closed her eyes again when she saw him swallow the tablets and slide back under the covers. Katey moved as if stirred during sleep and drew in close to Ray who lay with his back to her. The fluttering grew when she felt Ray shift ever-so slightly away from her. What the hell was going on?

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**Note: how's ray going to get out of this? you know what to do ** :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **See previous chapters

**Note:** This will involve Neela and bring Laurie and Gates back to the plot.

* * *

Neela strolled down the corridor towards the lift. It was her first day back at work after the festive period and it was surprisingly quiet in surgery so Crenshaw had sent her down to the ER to see if they could do with an extra hand. She wrinkled her nose at the no-brainer. They didn't need just an extra hand, they usually needed an extra dozen hands.

The lift pinged its ever-cheery tone and the doors slid smoothly open to reveal the familiar chaos of the ER. At the desk was Pratt and from his body language, Neela could tell that he was giving the nervous-looking intern in front of him a pretty stern talking-to who, after a few more expressive gestures from Pratt, ducked what looked almost like a half-bow to the attending before scuttling off to see to the not-insubstantial pile of charts balanced at the end of the desk.

"Hey, d'you need a hand down here?" Neela caught Luka as he marched by.

"Oh, hi Neela, how are you? Good holidays?" He stopped mid-stride and turned towards her.

"I'm good thanks. You, Abby and Joe have fun? I just came to see if you wanted some help here."

Luka's determined expression softened as he replied, "Yeah, Joe loved the tree, snow, everything, especially all his new toys. And for once, we're actually ok here despite appearances." Luka smiled wryly, "If you had come down a couple of hours ago, we would have made sure you didn't escape back upstairs. Listen, we'll catch up later on and I know Abby's dying to see you."

Neela barely had time to say goodbye before Luka rushed off and the space he left behind was filled by, "Yo, Mayday!"

"Tony, hi," Neela tried to sound pleased to see him as he leaned casually against the wall. As ever, Gates managed to look as if he had all the time in the world when all else around him was a blur of activity. In the past, she had found this particular quality attractive but now, it served to irritate her as if she got the feeling he was slacking off.

"I haven't seen you since the dance, I thought you were going to stop by." Although his voice was soft, she detected a slight edge to it.

"I know but you know how it goes, the day after to recover then just pottering around and trying to get things organised for going back to work, the time just flies by and it's back to work before you know it."

"Sure. Uh, you know what, a buddy of mine works over at that tapas place that's just opened, I should be able to have him swing a table for us if you feel like getting some dinner later?" Gates let a hopeful note slip into the query.

"Thanks Tony but no, I don't think that would be such a good idea." Neela politely refused the offer. She steeled herself as she recognised the head tilt and puppy-dog eyes that Gates now adopted, a sure sign that he was going to try and press her for a 'yes'. However, before he could speak further, Neela saw his eyes widen as he stared past her shoulder and he left abruptly with a muttered, "I gotta go get some lab results."

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Neela turned to look behind her wondering what had spooked Gates so much. She saw only Katey talking to her red-head friend, Laurie (?),whom she had met briefly at the New Year's do but what was unusual was that both young women were looking at the spot where Gates had been standing before and who now quickly turned away when they noticed Neela looking at them. What disturbed the surgical resident more was the strange look that Katey directed at her.

_Surely she couldn't have known?_ Neela was not so naïve as to imagine that what had occurred between her and her old room-mate was completely innocent nor unexpected. She had never been blind to the feelings between her and Ray even if she had chosen to ignore them.

Having seen that her services weren't required, Neela made to go back to the lift when she heard Ray's voice behind her.

"Going already?"

She had deliberately tried not to look out for him, tried not to let on to anyone about her true feelings for her ex-roomie. Neela smiled her greeting.

"It looks like I'm not wanted here."

His green-gold eyes revealed the depth of emotion when he replied softly, "I wouldn't say that was strictly true."

Neela had to force her arms to stay by her side as the desire to hug him tightly threatened to overwhelm her. For a few brief moments, they just stood staring into each other's eyes. Too soon, the spell was broken by the presence of Katey who had appeared at Ray's side with Laurie in tow.

"Neela." Though not unfriendly as such, the Psych intern's voice was still quite flat.

"Hi Katey, "Neela kept her tone light, "and Laurie, isn't it?"

Quite different to Katey, Laurie's returned greeting was warm as she also shook her hand. "We didn't get to meet properly before." She turned to her friend, "Katey, I'm just going to grab some coffee then do a bit of shopping. I'll catch you back at the apartment later on."

Neela made to leave as well when Laurie addressed her, "Are you going too? Fancy joining me for that coffee?"

Startled, Neela could do nothing except agree leaving a puzzled and disappointed Ray and an even more puzzled and slightly miffed Katey behind.

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Sitting at the cafeteria table with their drinks, both young women were at ease with each other, finding that they had some common interests and a similar sense of humour.

"So have you been with that guy long?" there was nothing in Laurie's manner to raise Neela's suspicions.

"Tony?"

"Yeah, you looked close, it was nice."

"Uh, yes and no." Neela paused as she tried to decide what to say. Eventually, she figured that it no longer mattered to make the split public and it didn't feel odd that the first person she should tell was a really a stranger, such was the feeling of familiarity between them. "We were together for a while but we broke up not long ago." She continued, "We still get on ok so we decided just to go to the dance together anyway."

Laurie smiled sympathetically. "What happened?" She added quickly, "If you don't mind me asking. You don't need to say."

"It's alright, I guess it just wasn't working anymore and I don't feel the same way about him," Neela shrugged slightly. She decided that it was one of those 'girly' moments and she felt that the way to go was to reciprocate the question. In addition, she hadn't forgotten the hurried way Gates had left. "How 'bout you? Are you seeing someone?" Neela paused, "…just there, I thought it looked like you and Tony recognised each other?"

Neela never expected the shadow that seemed to pass over Laurie's eyes or the look that immediately darkened her expression.

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**Ooh, what will Laurie do? Will she spill? Give me your thoughts x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I don't own ER, etc, etc

**Note: **Ok, this will be the start of sorting out the roomies and untangling the web :)

* * *

Ray turned back from his slightly open-mouthed gaze at Neela's retreating back to find Katey's eyes boring deep holes in him. Although he didn't want to admit it, he knew that the time to have THAT TALK was approaching fast…but not today, he wasn't quite ready for it yet. 

He gave Katey a smile, "Hey."

The smile she returned was a little terse, "Hey to you too."

Pratt appeared at the desk armed with a bundle of charts that he had just signed off. He looked up as Katey addressed him.

"How did New Year go, Dr. Pratt? Hope your shift was ok."

Ray's eyes nearly popped out of his head. _SHIT!! He knew he had forgotten to do something!_

Gregg shrugged. "Euch, it was alright, usual complement of drunks, brawlers, people who just had to come in cos it was life-and-death stuff only to find they had over-done it at Christmas. Then, of course, there were the real emergencies." He rolled his eyes, "Just a typical day at the ER. How 'bout you guys?"

"Oh, it was fun, music, food, getting caught up with friends." Katey's voice was light enough but the look she threw Ray could have frozen an elephant at fifty yards.

Sensing that the temperature had suddenly dropped about a million degrees compared to outside, Pratt signalled silently to Ray that he would speak to him later before making his excuses and departed. Katey blocked any escape route that Ray might have been considering himself. "So you met up with Dr. Pratt, did you?" Arms folded, she stood and waited for his reply.

Ray opened and closed his mouth a few times but no sounds came out, all sensible thought had left his brain. Finally, he began, "Katey, I…uh, I…" He wasn't sure what was supposed to come after that.

Her hazel eyes were guarded but her face was apprehensive at the same time. "I just want the truth Ray." She looked away from him before asking, "Did you go to see her?"

"Katey, we should talk. This evening, when we finish."

When she met his eyes again, she saw the apology in them. She saw the answer that she prayed wouldn't come. "Don't bother, I think I've heard enough." She strode away, trying to fight the tears that were welling up.

Ray could only watch her go, he knew that he was supposed to run after her, to tell her that it wasn't true but his feet stayed rooted to the spot. He couldn't lie anymore, it wasn't fair to anyone.

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In the cafeteria, Neela's eyes widened as she quietly listened to Laurie's soft voice. She wasn't sure how she had gotten away with it but her pager hadn't buzzed at all since they had sat down. At last, the red-head finished her tale and studied the dark brown eyes that had been fixed on her for the past half hour. To begin with, Neela had been more than a little cynical, unsure if Katey had somehow set up this 'coincidental' meeting with her friend but after some persistence on Laurie's part, Neela knew that it was just too fantastic to be false.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say," Neela apologised, "and, uh, I guess I also don't know why you told me either."

Laurie took a breath, it was her turn to apologise. "I'm sorry too, it wasn't fair of me to tell you like this, maybe even at all. It's only that after speaking to you and sort of getting to know you, I thought you should know what he can be capable of if you even consider getting back with him." She took a sip of her coffee, long-since cold. "I know how determined and yes, charming too, he can be if he puts his mind to it. We never would have lasted so long while I was at school if he hadn't persisted, saying we could take on the world." A rueful smile as she recalled memories of another time.

Her grey eyes held Neela as a serious frown knitted her brow. "While I'm on a roll, you can tell me I'm speaking out of turn but there's also Ray."

Neela expression immediately became wary, unsure as to whether she wanted to hear what would be said next. "What about him?" Her tone was cautious.

"Neela," Laurie's voice was gentle. "Katey's one of my best friends…"

There was an audible hiss as Neela sucked in her breath. "I'm not sure where you're going with this…"

"Hear me out. Please." Laurie spread her hands, palms facing up in a placating gesture which Neela eventually answered with a silent nod. "I was going to say that Katey's one of my best friends but I have to say that she's with the wrong guy. I mean, he's lovely, really is but even when I first saw the two of you on the terrace, well, he just doesn't look at Katey like that. Don't get me wrong, I think he tries to, he probably wants to, but whatever he has with you just isn't there. And, "she continued, "you look at him the same way."

Neela was speechless and she still didn't know if this conversation was a good or bad thing. She looked down as Laurie instinctively reached across to place her hand on her arm. "Neela, I blatantly don't know you very well but I feel we get on well enough for me to say that when you know the one you're supposed to be with, don't let the chance pass you by. It took me so long to get over Tony that when I got around to meeting someone else, I made sure that it was someone who I would jump through fire for." She grinned both to herself and to Neela. "And guess what? That someone was a guy I had known since I was 6 years old and who knew me almost better than I knew me!"

"So what you're saying is…" Neela's voice trailed off.

"Is that your someone is Ray and I could tell that just from the few little stories that you told me about him when you shared an apartment." Laurie's voice became sad. "I know Katey's going to be hurt but it would be better for her to hurt by it being over rather than be hurt by him pretending to feel something for her that he doesn't. She'll be mad, don't get me wrong, but she will get over it and come round and she will end up finding her someone too."

Neela squeezed the pale hand on her arm, a watery smile on her face. "It means a lot, you telling me that. I just don't know how to go about sorting it out and how to say to Katey. But…you're right about how Ray. Thank you."

**Note: **hope you didn't find that too cheesy. Had a touch of writer's block for the last chapter and start of this one but now that Laurie has come through for the roomies, things should start to pick up again!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I don't own ER, never have, never will

**Note: **Lots of lovely thanks to everyone for their lovely reviews and have stuck by this one. Have been having writer's block with this so apologies for big gap between updates.

* * *

Ray followed as Katey threw together various belongings that she had left at Ray's apartment as their relationship had gradually progressed to the point where Katey had more or less moved in – unofficially. 

"Katey, please just listen." Ray tried to explain, wanted her to understand.

_Thump!_ Shoes landed into the almost full hold-all.

"It wasn't deliberate, I really thought I was over her."

_Thud!_ A couple of books appeared next to the shoes.

"I wasn't lying when I told you I wanted to be with you."

_Clatter!_ CDs and DVDs tumbled in. Katey kept her back to Ray as she stormed around the apartment, refusing to answer him.

Finally, Ray stepped in front of her, gently holding her shoulders. "Katey, I never meant for it to be like this. I just…" he stared at her for a few seconds before shrugging helplessly, "…I just can't help the way I feel. I'm sorry."

Katey glared angrily at him. "Yeah, well you know what? That doesn't make me feel a whole lot better!" She blinked back tears as she zipped up the bag. "If I've left anything, just leave it at work and I'll collect it there."

He watched as she hauled the cumbersome load off the floor and lugged it after her. "At least let me help you."

She didn't look back as her sarcastic reply floated back to him. "Don't worry Ray, you've done plenty for me already."

He sighed and leaned against the wall as the front door slammed shut. All things considered, it had gone as well as could be expected. Before he had come off shift, he had managed to catch up with Pratt.

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"I reckon I can guess what you're gonna ask me." Gregg surveyed Ray, a half amused, half bemused expression on his face. "Man, I thought you had got all this business sorted out, then Dr. Alvaro there comes up and practically gives me a pop-quiz on how my New Year shift went. So what happened?"

Gregg listened patiently as his R3 explained the events of the last few days and shook his head in disbelief as he concluded his story. "Barnett, I don't know what I'm going to do with you. You're supposed to be the one who knows how to handle women. You have to come clean with Katey first in any case."

Ray stared gloomily into his coffee mug. "I know. I just wish I knew how things had gotten so messy." He glanced up at his friend who, at a loss as to what to say, put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

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Clutching the coffee that she had just bought, Neela made her way towards the entrance to County's ER when a hefty bump sent the scalding liquid sloshing onto her hand, soaking through the woolly glove and onto her skin. She lifted her head to yell at the person who had barged heavily into her shoulder but the sound died in her throat when she saw the vicious look that Katey sent her as she marched past.

Neela felt a heaviness in her stomach as she peeled off her glove and examined the hot redness that had started to appear on her skin. _Not a good start to the day. _She continued through the doors and headed towards the doctor's locker room to see if Abby was around, she hadn't seen her since the holidays. Disappointed that her friend wasn't there, the surgical resident went to head back out just as Ray was coming in.

Two pairs of eyes sparkled up as they recognised each other and grins automatically lit up their faces.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Ray was the first one to string a proper sentence together. "Neela, I need to tell you something, it's kinda important."

Neela allowed a small frown to appear between her brows. "Uh oh, sounds ominous, "she tried to joke.

"Me and Katey, we're, um, we're over."

She stares at him, startled. "Oh." It took some moments for the news to sink in. "Ohhhh. That would explain things." She murmured quietly as she unconsciously rubbed her hand before she realised.

_OH!_ Neela looked up into gentle green-gold eyes and reached out to touch his arm. "Are you sure?" Her eyes betrayed hope mixed with uncertainty.

"I'm positive, I've never been more sure about anything." They moved closer closing the space between them when the door opened and Abby appeared. She stopped when she saw the two of them. "Hi guys, good holidays?" There was a pause during which Abby regarded Ray and Neela with a small knowing smile as they reluctantly widened the distance again.

"Yeah, it was fun. How about you? I was trying to find you, see if you wanted to arrange a catch up?" Neela answered.

There was an awkward air as Ray hovered, not quite sure what to do. Eventually, he decided to leave the women to it. "I'll see you later on," he addressed Neela. "See you later, Abby."

Abby raised an eyebrow as Ray left and she turned back to her friend. Neela could only grin at her.

When she spoke, Abby's tone was soft. "Neela, honey, you should know that Katey's really pissed at you, Ray too, but more you."

"You know? We, I, haven't told anyone." Neela was shocked.

"Um, well, everyone knows."

"_Everyone_?"

"Sweetie, when I say she's pissed, she was really giving off about you yesterday. Basically, she thinks you pretty much stole Ray from her and I don't think she's going to let this one go."

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Gates had his feet up in the doctors' lounge when Katey pushed open the door with more force than necessary and when she spotted Gates, a plan began to formulate in her mind.

He looked up, "Howzit going? I heard about you and Barnett, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, same with you and Neela. Don't you miss her?"

"Sure I do, but it just wasn't meant to be. Just the way it goes." He tilted his head philosophically.

Katey moved to sit next to him. "You know," she began slowly, "Neela still wants you, she just wasn't sure you that you were serious about her, that's why you broke up."

Gates was dismissive, "Nah, she knew how I felt, she just didn't feel the same."

"Honestly, Tony, I heard her telling Abby." Katey was cajoling but he wasn't fooled.

"Look, just tell me what you want cos I just know you wouldn't be talking to me unless there was a good reason." He looked her squarely in the eyes. "I know you're friends with Laurie."

Katey returned the look. "Alright, I want Ray back, he's mine. But what I said was true, she doesn't want Ray, he just doesn't see that yet."

Gates didn't need to ask who _she_ was but he did still want her, more than he ever thought he would and so he was more than willing to believe Katey's words. "Ok, " he said finally, "what have you got in mind?"

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**Note:**** well I didn't realise how bad Katey would be til I finished this but she will have a dastardly plan to spoil the roomies happiness. Hope u enjoyed this chapter, let me know xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** See previous chapters

**Note: **Sorry for big delays whilst I was working on the fluff. Also, new job 5 weeks of intense induction :( . Ah well, that's real life for you :p. the drama continues as Katey works her mischief

* * *

"Mayday, hey, Mayday, wait up." Gates jogged up to the surgical resident. 

_Christ, what does he want?_ It had been weeks since Neela had last had any contact with her ex and she had liked it that way, had liked not having to deal with his inane comments and general silliness. The time that she had spent with him had seemed like another life and she was happy to be leaving it behind.

"Tony, hi." She pitched her greeting carefully. Her tone was friendly without being inviting, casual without being cold.

"How's things? Haven't seen you around much." His head tilted just a little, dark eyes expressive like a puppy's. It was a look he knew she had never been able to resist – at least until now. He was surprised when her tone didn't change and he noted the way her arms were folded in front of her.

"Surgery's been busy, you know how it is. Lots of new things to learn and study up on." Neela gave a slightly tense smile. "How're you?"

He couldn't help but notice how that last question had been added almost as an afterthought but he pushed on gamely. "I'm good, yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to grab a beer later, y'know, catch up."

"Uh, I don't know, Tony, I've had a lot of shifts lately and I'm kinda tired." She wasn't struck on the idea of spending extra time with him but he knew how to appeal to her good side, the side that felt bad about letting anyone down.

"Aw, c'mon, it's been a while and we're still friends, aren't we?" He left the question hanging, the ball in her court.

She felt a stab of guilt, after all, she was the one who had ended it, who had wanted to remain friends and now she wasn't so sure that that had been such a good plan. To refuse would seem churlish but she couldn't stop a nagging sense of worry about accepting. Eventually good manners won through. _It couldn't be that bad, could it?_

"Ok," she gave in, "just a catch up, I'm on earlies all this week."

"Great, I'll meet you in Ike's when you're done." He grinned at her before going off to see the patient he had promised to look at 10 minutes ago.

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Katey smiled sweetly, apologetically. "I'm sorry for how I left, I was upset but I don't want to end like that."

To say that Ray was surprised when Katey had approached him would be an understatement but he had been glad and relieved that she had come bearing an olive branch and not a war banner.

"I'm sorry too, I really mean that. I still care about you..."

Katey's smile grew broader then just as quickly faded at Ray's next words, "…just not like that."

_It wasn't fair, if it wasn't for _her_ Ray would as happy as anything to be with her. Well, that would change, she would make sure of it._

"Well, how about I stand us a round of beers as a peace offering, what d'you say?"

Happy that things weren't working out as acrimoniously as he thought, Ray had no concerns about going for that beer.

"Great, I'll see you later." The psych intern had to remind herself not to skip as she made her way back to her department.

-----------------------------------

It was going better than Neela had expected and the worries she had had earlier that daywere no more as she relaxed with Gates. For all that she knew she had to end the relationship, Neela was reminded of what good company he could be and she had already stayed out longer than she had intended and had drunk more than she had intended, especially when she had done her usual and forgotten to eat properly at work.

Gates studied Neela closely, could see that though she wasn't drunk, the beer had loosened her up and she had lost the air of tension that she had arrived in the bar with. Taking the opportunity, he moved closer and leaned into her. He reached out his hand to touch her hair.

"What are you doing?" Neela flinched away.

"Relax, you just got something in your hair."

"Oh, sorry, uh, thanks," she gave a sheepish laugh as Tony plucked a bit off fluff off a long strand of night-black hair and showed it to her.

---------------------------------------

Ray followed Katey into Ike's and glanced around. He was about to make his way to the bar when from the other side of the room he was met by the sight of Gates smoothing Neela's hair behind her ear and saying something that caused her to laugh like a loon. Well, loon was a bit strong but you get the idea. They looked so comfortable, so _intimate_ together that Ray felt a mixture of anger, fear and envy welling up.

"Ray, here's your drink. Ray?" Katey turned and followed his line of vision and emitted a gasp of well-simulated shock. She never thought that her timing would have been so good.

Without a word, Ray spun on his heel and marched out with Katey following, ready to give him a more than sympathetic ear.

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Behind her, Neela never saw Ray enter or leave and never noticed the subtle glance that Gates threw over his shoulder and the quick wink that Katey directed at him.

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**Ta-dah, hope that kept you occupied x**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **I don't own ER and never will

**Note: **Thanks again for everyone's reviews, they're much appreciated :) Here's the next installment of angst just to show that love really doesn't run smooth

* * *

"Ray, Ray, wait up." Neela had to break into a trot to catch up with the ER R3. She had barely seen him over the last couple of weeks and on the rare occasions that she did, he had been curt with her. 

He didn't turn round at her voice, just kept walking. He had nothing to say to her.

Ray was forced to stop when Neela's hand grabbed his arm and spun him forcefully to face her.

"Ray what is going on? You keep avoiding me and when you can't, you barely say three words. I don't get it." Her smooth brow was knitted in a frustrated frown, confusion in her eyes.

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He winced when she grabbed him and tried to control his growing anger. _How could she pretend not to know what the problem was? Did she think that he wouldn't find out? More games even when she had promised she had gotten things straight and like a fool, he had believed her. Again. _Ray hadn't been able to bring himself to speak to her since the night he had walked out of Ike's, couldn't let himself be hurt again, couldn't risk being taken in by false promises again. Therefore, the best plan was to simply not see her.

"What do you want Neela?" No small talk, no greeting, waves of unmistakable coldness emanating from him.

"I want to know what's wrong."

"You don't know? Why doesn't that surprise me, you never seem to know what's wrong. Things just happen to you don't they?"

-------------------------------------------

Neela was taken aback by how distant Ray was being, it was as if he was a stranger. "What's that supposed to mean?" She felt her hackles rise.

"You and Gates." Ray practically spat out the words.

"I'm not following." Her tone matched his.

"How about I fill you in? You looked pretty cosy in Ike's." His arms were folded, defensive.

------------------------------------------

_Oh no, that's what was wrong. _She hadn't even thought, hadn't considered it to be an issue. It had been so innocent.

"Ray, why didn't you come over, you would have seen it wasn't what you thought." Neela couldn't believe that they were arguing over Gates again, that was meant to be past now.

"I saw enough." He looked away briefly. "Why were you with him?" His voice was tight.

"Because he's still a friend, despite what you might think." Neela was getting angry now. Nobody was going to dictate who she could see, especially not Ray. "You don't trust me." It was a statement, not a question, her tone accusing.

"It's Gates I don't trust." Ray was weary. _Why was it always so complicated with her?_

Brown eyes clouded with sadness. "No, Ray, you don't trust me. You think I'm that easy I would rush back to him." She suddenly felt drained, too tired to keep fighting. They had been skirting round each other for so long and it was one set-back after another. Everything was telling her that it just wasn't meant to be. Slim shoulders slumped and turning in defeat, Neela walked away.

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_No, no, no!_ His brain was screaming at him. This wasn't supposed to happen, she wasn't supposed to walk away, he wasn't supposed to let her walk away. Was she right? Did he really mistrust her? _She's wrong. I'm just afraid of losing her. Maybe I've lost her before I even got her._ He had seen the resignation in her eyes and felt icy fear close around his heart.

---------------------------------------

Katey watched the altercation from behind a curtain and gave a satisfied smile. As Ray headed in her direction, she stepped out, head bent over a chart.

"Hey, how you doing?" Her lips were curved in a warm smile.

"Katey, hi." _At least she was pleased to see him._

"I was thinking, I got a spare ticket for that new band you were talking about. Wanna come? They're playing tonight" _Say 'yes', Ray._

"Ah, I dunno, it's been a long week and I'm not feeling up to it."

_Shit, be cool. _"No problem, I just thought you'd have enjoyed it. Never mind, I'll catch you later." She glided casually away.

Katey smirked to herself when a few moments later, Ray' voice said, "On second thought, I'll take you up on that gig."

He needed a friendly face to take away the bitterness of his fight argument with Neela.

-----------------------------------------

"You ok?" Gates had seen Neela enter the doctors' lounge and seeing an opportunity, he had been quick to follow.

"Do you ever wish that your life was already mapped out for you and you didn't need to worry about where you were going?"

He chuckled. "Now where would be the fun in that?" Gates eyed her carefully and in a measured tone said, "Nobody said it would be easy. It's all part of the ride."

Neela pursed her lips ruefully. "When did you become such a philosopher?"

"Call it experience." He flashed his pearly whites. "What do you say to coming to dinner with a wise old sage?"

Neela hesitated, she could sense danger but she reminded herself that their last meeting had gone well and at the end of the day, she wasn't with Ray and it seemed that she never would be.

"Sounds good, share some of that wisdom." What did she have to lose? She answered herself. _Ray._

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**Ahh, poor reela, i think it will be a little while before they sort this one out.**_  
_


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **as ever, I'm not going to own ER

**Note: **sorry for delayed update, have had to move yet again as owner selling flat. Am tired of having no fixed abode, sigh. Anyway, nuff griping. In the interests of the story, have jumped ahead time a bit

* * *

_Three months later_

Looking around, Neela enjoyed 'people-watching' from the bench she had sat upon to have her lunch. The spring sunshine was too nice to waste after the dismal winter and nothing beat relaxing on a day off by doing nothing in particular. As she stared aimlessly, she didn't notice someone approaching to break her reverie.

"Hey stranger."

Neela took a few seconds to realise who it was. "Laurie! My goodness, what are you doing here? I mean, it's great to see you as well." She hugged the red-head warmly.

"Good to see you as well. I got a few days break this semester so I thought I would pay a flying visit." Laurie grinned slyly. "So…how's Ray Barnett?"

Neela's face fell. "Yeah, he's ok." She didn't care to elaborate but Laurie was not one to be let go of the subject so easily especially when she sensed that all was not well.

"What's wrong? I thought the two of you would have got together by now." The teacher's voice expressed concern.

"It didn't quite work out that way." Neela sighed. "To cut a long story short, he's still with Katey…" the sentence trailed off and she looked up into Laurie's intense frown which demanded more. "…and Tony's kinda, sort of, around." Her voice was barely a whisper as she felt the disappointment from Laurie which had been a constant companion to her for months now, an ever present reminder of her broken promise to Ray that she was definitely over Gates. But when Ray had been so dismissive of her those months ago, she felt there was no point trying to convince him otherwise, instead she was just as well to live up to his (low) expectations.

"Oh no," Laurie commiserated after she had pressed Neela to give her the full story. "I don't get it though, why would he not have just come over to speak to you. It doesn't make sense." She could feel that something just didn't ring true and she was determined to get to the bottom of it, it was an injustice that two people so suited to each other should be kept apart.

------------------------------------------------

The doors to the ER slid open admitting a tall red-head and Frank gave her a nod of acknowledgement, remembering her as Dr. Alvaro's friend. She approached the desk and gave the usually surly receptionist a winning smile.

"Hi, Frank isn't it? It's good to see you, how you doing?"

In spite of himself, he found that he was blushing slightly and had suddenly come over all shy. "Uh, yeah, fine thanks. And you?"

"I'm good. Listen Frank, is Dr. Barnett around?"

"I saw him earlier, think he's in one of the exam rooms. Your friend's upstairs, want me to page her for you?"

"Ah, no, it's ok, I'll see her later. Thanks anyway." She turned to leave but out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Gates. She hesitated as she weighed up what she wanted to do. Squaring her shoulders, Laurie turned to meet him face on.

"Hi."

"Uh, hi." He eyed her warily. She could see the tension in his body language but she felt that direct action was required.

"So you and Neela, huh? I thought that was over." She was having a hard time trying to be civil and she was finding it difficult not to cross the line.

Gates folded his arms defensively. "So what if we're not? Jealous? That time is long gone."

"In your dreams. No, I was just baffled as to why someone as nice as Neela would take up with someone like you. Again! I thought once would have been enough to turn anyone off." Well, that was civility out of the window.

"For your information, she was never not interested, she thought I wasn't serious about her."

Laurie couldn't help the sneer that appeared, "I can't think why she would get that idea. Did you just convince yourself of that? Couldn't bear to lose to someone better than you?"

"Actually, no, smart-ass, if you ever spoke to your 'best friend', Katey more often, you would know that she was the one who told me."

_She had spoken to Katey every week and she never mentioned anything! What was Katey playing at? She might be her friend but Hell mend her if Laurie found that she was using Tony to get at someone!_

"And I would never lose to a loser like Barnett." Gates threw this last parting shot.

----------------------------------------------------

It wasn't until the next day that Laurie was able to speak to Ray. She hadn't mentioned anything of the exchange with Tony, preferring to go with a gut instinct that told the teacher that she might be one friend short when all this was over.

"Hey Ray, haven't seen you in a while."

"Hi, yeah, it's been crazy here, but when is it ever not crazy?" he laughed. He didn't think it unusual that Laurie was chatting to him, after all, she was his girlfriend's best friend.

"Ray," Laurie knew there was no good way to bring up the subject but it had to be done. "I'm not trying to be funny but I figured you and Neela would have been an item after last time I saw you."

Ray looked at her, a mixture of confusion and suspicion marring his boyish features. "How do you mean? I thought you would have been pleased that me and Katey were still together."

Sensing that she had to tread a little more carefully, Laurie continued. "Oh, I am, don't get me wrong. It's only that…well, never mind, doesn't matter now."

Curiosity getting the better of him, Ray had to ask, "Only what?"

"I felt that there was something between the two of you, something pretty deep. But like I said, I must've imagined it, forget it." Satisfied that she had sufficiently piqued Ray's interest, Laurie continued to keep things light.

"Yeah, well, I guess you did imagine it cos she's back with him." For a brief moment, she detected a wistful sadness in his eyes.

"Listen, Neela told me about the bar. Why didn't you go speak to her?" Laurie felt she owed him a bit more than that.

"I saw what I needed to and besides, Katey told me that she had seen them getting pretty close and that I _didn't_ need to see!" A note of anger had crept into his voice.

"But you didn't actually see it?" Anger had crept into her voice as well but for a different reason. All of a sudden, Laurie wasn't sure who Katey Alvaro was anymore. She was going to get to the bottom of this, pronto!

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**What's the verdict? let me know x**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **I will never own ER, etc, etc

**Note: **many humble and sincere apologies as to delay of update, unlike previous moves, current flat had no internet connection and it took longer than expected for my flatmate's account to transfer to new abode. Anyway, what will laurie do next? Dum-dum-dummm…

* * *

Sitting in the bar, Laurie swirled her cocktail and watched the pink liquid circle smoothly around the martini glass. Across from her, Katey took another sip of her drink and waited. It was great to see her friend, albeit a surprise and now having met up for the evening, the psych intern had the faintest hunch that something wasn't right and it made her nervous. 

Clear green eyes framed by long red lashes were unreadable as they studied, searched, the young doctor before they cleared and returned to their usual bright friendliness. "So how have you been? It seems like forever since we last spoke." Another sip. "You never really told me what happened with you and Ray."

Brown eyes looked away, clouded before looking back. "Oh, it was just one of those things, y'know, a small blip but we're fine now." Katey kept her tone light but had no intention of expanding further and for good reason.

"What kind of blip? A Neela-shaped one?" Laurie had no room for messing about.

"Sort of, kinda," Katey had to stop herself from squirming in her seat, especially when Laurie leaned forward towards her.

"I never thought her and Tony would have ended up back together." Her voice softened, Katey was still one of her best friends and she didn't want to hurt her if possible. "Sweetie, what if…" _How did you go about telling your best friend that they shouldn't be with someone because they were standing in the way of another person's happiness?_ "…what if Ray isn't for you? That you're meant to be with someone else and that Ray is supposed to be for…"

"Neela?" Katey cut her off sharply, angrily. "What are you getting at?"

"I'm getting at how I think Neela and Ray would work and after everything you told me about what he had said to you when you had your 'blip'. He sounded pretty definite about what he wanted." She reached over to touch Katey's arm. "Are you holding onto him just cos it _is_ Neela?"

"He's mine, Laurie, fair and square. All she's done is to mess him around, a perfect match for Gates don't you think?" The words came out in a hiss.

At the mention of Tony, Laurie's expression hardened. "Ray's not a prize, something to own and Tony is…" she searched for the right words. "…something completely different. Nobody should have to be inflicted with him."

"She does." Katey drew her arm away from the teacher.

"Tony told me you told him that Neela broke up with him cos she didn't think he would commit."

Katey made no response.

"I spoke to Ray as well." Katey looked sharply at her, jaw clenched as Laurie continued speaking. "Interestingly, he said you were the one who told him how close Neela and Tony were, told him he didn't need to see her let alone speak to her." Frustrated by Katey's silence, Laurie couldn't help raising her voice. "What the hell are you playing at?"

Regarding the red-head coolly, Katey stood up, picked up her bag and jacket before finally replying. "I'm not going to lose to her." She swept out of the bar leaving Laurie incredulous that she had appeared to find her supposed best friend so similar to the one man she despised most in all the world. She would have to strike fast if she were to salvage the situation.

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Ray groaned at the sound of the doorbell, he had just been about to drift off to sleep and he hadn't expected Katey to arrive tonight. Even though they had resumed their relationship, they had decided not to live together again, at least not yet. This, to Katey's chagrin had been at Ray's instigation and she had had no option but to agree.

Shuffling to the hall in his socks, he rubbed his eyes as he opened the door. "Hey, I thought you were out with…" Ray looked up, "…Laurie!" He was more than a little surprised to find her at his door. "What are you doing here? Where's Katey?" He poked his head out into the hall to see if she was standing behind Laurie.

Ray had no chance to linger though as Laurie pushed him firmly back into the apartment with an accompanying, "Mind if I come in?"

"Uh, sure." A confused frown following her.

Turning towards the still-sleepy Ray, Laurie fixed him with a firm gaze. "There's something you need to hear."

_Rap! Rap! Rap!_ The sound of knuckles on the door cutting through his startled mind.

"Ray, it's me, open up!"

Laurie beat him to it by opening the door herself to Katey who also barged inside. "Whatever she says, don't listen to her!"

Ray looked from one to another. "Will someone let me in on what's going on here?!"

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**Hope it was worth the wait x**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **see previous chapters

**Note:** lots of huggy (and glittery :p ) thanks to everyone for keeping the reviews coming despite the erratic updates, they are much appreciated!

* * *

Ray was no stranger to having two women, friends no less, in his apartment late in the evening but what wasn't familiar was the open hostility between them and he had absolutely no idea what had caused the ruckus that was beginning in his front room. 

He had never seen such burning anger in Katey and it scared him a little as he noticed the white knuckles of her clenched and trembling fists. In contrast, Laurie was still, almost too still but with a cold fury that lit her green eyes.

"Katey, what's this all about?" He turned to the flame-haired woman. "Laurie?"

Eyes never leaving the brunette, Laurie spoke first. "It's all about Neela."

That was the last thing he expected to hear and it served only to confuse him further. "Huh?"

"Tony as well. You never got the whole story about the bar. Did he, Katey?"

With all the attention now on her, Katey found her voice. "He did, you weren't there. Remember?"

"She lied to you, Ray. Nothing ever happened with them that night. You never saw anything because there wasn't anything to see."

-------------------------------------------------

Thoroughly bewildered, Ray could barely take in what he was hearing. All he could focus on was the information that he had been wrong about Neela and that it was due to his girlfriend lying to him.

-------------------------------------------------

"There was," insisted Katey. "When did they ever meet just to hang out?"

"They did for New Year. They were over even before then, Neela told me when we…" He never finished the sentence.

This time, furious brown eyes were directed at him. "When you were never with Pratt. You lied to me as well."

"But at least I didn't string you along. Did you know what I was going to see in Ike's?" Suspicion and understanding gradually began to dawn on Ray. "Were you and Gates in on this?"

Katey changed tack, her voice softening. "She never knew what she wanted, look how easily she went with Gates."

"I went to a gig with you and we weren't together," his tone was hard.

"That… wasn't the same," Katey was beginning to flounder for answers.

-------------------------------------------

Laurie had heard enough and uncaring, she took Katey by surprise by moving quickly and bodily huckled her out of the apartment and put the chain over the door before turning her attention to Ray.

"Sit down, "she commanded and Ray did so, both unwilling to risk her wrath and wanting to hear everything. She marched over to the fridge, took out a couple of beer cans and threw one to him. "You'll probably need one of these."

Laurie sat next to him, popped the tab and took a long pull while she regarded him sympathetically. "Katey misled you. Sure Neela and Gates were in Ike's but in the same way you and Katey went there and she lied about what she did or didn't see. But," she continued, "it was your fault too. You were all too ready to listen to her and believe her rather than go see Neela yourself."

Ray swigged at his drink. "I was mad at her and at me for thinking she meant what she said about not being with _him_. Why would Katey do that?"

Speechless with disbelief and exasperated to the point she thought she would punch him, Laurie could only stare at him for several moments. "For someone who's supposed to be intelligent, you're surprisingly stupid!"

"Hey!" he started to protest.

"Katey wanted _you_! Moreover, even if she wasn't to have you, the last person she would want to see you with is Neela and it's understandable. I do believe that when you and Katey got together, you were genuine but remember it only happened because you thought Neela would never happen. Katey knew that in some way she would always play second fiddle to her and after New Year, well, it would be a kick in the gut for anyone to be dropped for their nemesis."

"What about Gates?"

Laurie paused. "He was in on it but more innocently at first." She noted Ray's dubious expression. "I mean, Katey initially told him that Neela hadn't really wanted to break up with him, that he just had to try harder and show her that he was serious. It was only later that beating you became just as important to him as beating Neela was to Katey. I guess in the end, they're as bad as each other." She studied the floor as she recalled an earlier promise that her former friend had made to take revenge on Gates for the old pain that he had caused her. Instead, it happened that Katey had only done the opposite by using him as an ally and manipulating the people around them. _Two peas in a pod and I picked them both!_

-------------------------------------------

Ray was silent as he mulled over the implications of the night's revelations and he was no closer to coming to a solution. "So what do I do now?"

"If you want her, you'll do whatever you need to. From everything I know, you're the one who knows Neela best."

"What about you, what will you do?"

"Nothing," she smiled ruefully. "I guess I'm one gal-pal down and I'm better for it. I need to get back to school anyhow and there's someone waiting for me who knows me best. My flight's tomorrow." The smile changed to one of contentment and hope. "If Dr. Rasgotra is as bright as everyone makes her out to be, she'll listen and make the right choice." Laurie stood and made her way to the door but not before giving Ray a hug and her number. "Good luck, let me know how you get on. Maybe I might need to come over again and bash some more heads together!"

As the door closed, Ray slumped with his back against it, his head spinning. He supposed that the overall result was good for him but was he ready for a final battle?


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **won't ever own ER, if I get anywhere near, it will be a complete miracle!

**Note: **Since I'm on a roll and I also took a week's annual leave, now's as good a time as any to try and get this fic finished, its taken longer than I ever thought it would! Therefore, many grateful thanks to everyone who has stuck by this and reviewed, you know who you are! Xxx

* * *

As she walked down the hall, the last person Neela expected to see was her old roomie. They had avoided each other for weeks and neither had given any indication that that would change anytime soon and she searched desperately for a way to get out of speaking to him. She didn't like the confused mixture of guilt and longing that she always felt even when she just thought of him, it was much better to simply have no contact with him, to the point she was apprehensive whenever she received a page from the ER. 

Today, though, there would be no escape.

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Ray had been hanging around the corridors for ages, dividing his time between the ER and the surgical floor as much as he could in the hope of catching her. At last the waiting paid off as he noted her petite form coming towards him. Mentally bracing himself, he faced her with what he hoped was a warm smile.

"Hi."

Neela eyed him warily and her pace slowed. "Hi."

He could see how tense she was, muscles tight, ready to flee but he couldn't back out now. "How are you? I, uh, haven't seen you for a while."

"Yeah, well, I've not been around much." Neela didn't think there was much to say and she sent up a thousand thank-yous when her pager buzzed. "That's Dubenko, I've got to go." She went to step past him when Ray lightly took hold of her arm.

"Wait. Please."

---------------------------------

It was the only thing he could think to do, he couldn't just let her go again. For a moment, he thought she was going to pull away and run but he was relieved when she didn't.

"Neela, I… I need to speak to you."

"Ray, I don't think there's anything to say. I've really got to go."

"It's important, please Neela." He couldn't stop the slight pleading note as he realised how much she was trying to escape. "I finish at 8.0 tonight. All I'm asking is you meet me and hear me out. I'll be in Ike's. Please."

He let go of her arm, watched her walk away immediately, hurriedly, never looking back.

-----------------------------------

She tried not to flinch when he touched her arm, tried to ignore the warmth of his hand and the whirlwind of emotions that swept through her as she heard him ask to meet her. Neela felt indignation. She was also frightened of how much she still cared for Ray, how much she still wanted him in spite of telling herself otherwise. _What could he possibly want to say to her? After last time, there wasn't anything she wanted to hear. No, that was a blatant lie. She had missed the soft huskiness of his voice and all the things they used to tell each other from the days when they had been roomies whether it was to do with work or play, down to what they were going to eat or watch on TV. She had always wanted to hear everything he had to say even now, after everything._

When Neela felt him let go, it was as if the spell which had kept her still had been broken and she had to leave, too confused to process what he had told her.

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It felt like several lifetimes before his shift had ended and as he sat at the bar, Ray couldn't help looking around nervously. He hoped with all his might that she had listened to him and was going to walk through the door but she had made no sign that she had acknowledged his words. He looked at his watch, it had just gone 9.0. _Another 15 minutes, I'll wait another 15 minutes. _He knew that Neela finished the same time as him, he had checked. Ray ordered another beer.

-----------------------------------------

Across the road in a different bar, Neela threw back her third tequila shot, trying to build up the courage to meet him. She knew she had to see Ray but extra alcohol would help to numb any ensuing pain that she might feel as a result. Neela signalled to the bartender again.

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9.30. Ray tossed the dollar bills onto the bar and got up to leave. She wasn't coming. _No more chances._ For him or her, he wasn't sure. Probably both. As he turned, a blur of long black hair swept next to his shoulder and he detected a familiar citrus scent.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I got caught up with a patient." A nervous, apologetic smile. "I wasn't sure you would still be here."

Studying her gentle features, he knew instantly the real reason for her lateness. Ray had long recognised the signs from their early days – an extra brightness to her eyes, a slight flush to her lips and cheeks. He really couldn't blame her, he would have done the same.

"It's ok. What can I get you?"

Ray ordered their drinks and they sat in silence for long minutes.

"So, um, what was it you wanted to speak to me about?" Neela tried to be casual but the suspense was killing her. Her thumbnail scraped at the beer label.

"I'm sorry," he blurted. "You and Gates, here. I should have gone over but I didn't cos Katey… Then Laurie told me… And it was all lies and…"

"Whoa, slow down Ray," Neela was puzzled. "Laurie told you lies? What are you talking about?"

Ray stopped and gathered his thoughts. "Let's get a seat, I think we've got a lot to catch up on." He led her to a free table.

------------------------------------

Having finished his account of recent events, Ray stopped and waited for Neela's response which took a little while in coming.

Finally, she said, "Oh."

He tilted his head. "Oh, good? Oh, bad?"

"Just 'Oh'. You've kinda blindsided me." More silence, then, "What do you want me to say? You basically told me that I'm a cheat and you couldn't trust me and now everything's ok because you say so?" All the hurt that she had kept inside began to make itself known.

"Neela, I'm sorry, I was wrong. I just hated the thought of you and him back together." Ray looked helplessly at her.

"I can't keep doing this Ray, not knowing if I'm coming or going. I know Tony's far from perfect but at least he's consistent."

"Consistent?!" Ray spluttered. "You're damn right he's far from perfect, cheating on the girl who was carrying his kid!"

"She told you?" Neela's voice became quiet.

"Yeah, she told me. Is he really the guy you want to be with?" Ray took her hands. "I love you Neela and it scares the hell out of me that I might lose you completely. If you don't feel the same, tell me now and I'll leave you alone for good."

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**Note:** yup, another cliffie :p . hey, I got to keep ur interest somehow ;) hee hee x 


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **you know what it is (and for anyone who doesn't, see other chapters)

**Note: **lol, updates with me are either feast or famine :p

* * *

Neela felt her mouth go dry at Ray's words and she swallowed hard, trying to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth. She had wanted to hear those three little words for so long and now that they were a reality, it took her breath away and yet…_was something else going to happen to tear them apart?_ Neela didn't think she could cope with another disappointment. 

"Neela? At least say something." Ray's voice cut into her thoughts and she focused her eyes back onto his earnest face.

"I, uh, I…" she was frightened of what she wanted to tell him, frightened that giving herself entirely to Ray would mean she lose her heart forever if things didn't work out between them given how easily a wedge could drive them apart.

Anxiety was written all over his brow.

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Ray felt his stomach lurching at her lack of response, was positive that any chance of them finally being together had been lost forever. He was no longer sure he wanted to hear what Neela was going to say.

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Finally, "I don't want you to leave me alone for good, but I need you to trust me as well." Worried uncertainty was reflected in her dark eyes.

"I do, believe me. It's just Gates…"

"Ray, you have to trust me on him too. I made my mistakes with him but I'm a big girl, don't think I didn't know what I was getting into. I did." She leaned closer towards him. "But if you meant what you said then yes, I feel the same about you."

Relief swept over them both as they both voiced their emotions and they spent the next hour or two getting back to their old selves.

"So now what do we do?" Neela searched Ray for answers. "I can't let Katey and Gates just get away like that after everything they've done."

Ray's mouth was set in a grim line. "Me either. Don't worry, we'll think of something."

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**Note:** just a quick and short chapter to bring the story closer to the final act. Will get my brain working to try find a fitting comeuppance for the gruesome twosome. Any ideas will be welcomed xx 


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **see the other chappies

**Note: **yeah, yeah, another update. I know, they're like buses, u wait ages for one then they all arrive at the same time :p . A thank u to dshortklutz for inspiration for the comeuppance xx

* * *

"Oh my God!" 

"Abby, you have been saying that for the last half hour," Neela laughed.

"I know, but…oh my God!" Abby had been pleasantly surprised when Neela had asked for them to meet up as they had not really spent any time with each-other other than passing hello's at work. With a rare day off together, they made the most of it. Instead of the usual small-talk and gossip that she had been expecting, Abby could only gape as the saga of Drs Barnett and Rasgotra unfolded. "I'm glad that you and Ray have finally seen the light, it's taken long enough but what have you done about _them_?" She grinned wickedly. "I'd be more than happy to knock out that scheming witch for you. And Gates too."

Neela smiled cryptically. "Thanks Abby, but it's ok, they probably have done enough damage on their own."

"How do you mean?" Although the friends had the same day off, Neela's had coincided with the leave that Abby had taken to spend a bit more time with Joe and so she had missed out on recent events at work.

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_2__ weeks ago_

Before Laurie had returned to New York, she left Ray and Neela a parting gift. Looking at her watch, the red-head saw that she had several hours before she had to catch her flight and smiling to herself, she glided out to the waiting taxi.

Frank's grumpy demeanour brightened as the teacher sashayed towards the desk. "Hi Frank."

"Hi, how are you? Which one of them are you looking for this time?"

Laurie propped herself comfortably against the desk. "Actually, it was you I came to see, thought it would be nice to chat." She had long noticed that Frank was never one to let a good bit of gossip slip by him and more importantly to her, she had also noticed that he wasn't one to keep a juicy story to himself either.

An hour later, Laurie left for the airport and congratulated herself on a job well done.

By the time another hour had passed, the tale of Katey and Gates's meddlings had spread like wildfire through the ER, up to surgery and through to psych.

When Katey Alvaro entered County later that evening to begin her shift, she didn't take long to notice the silent stares and whispers that followed her not to mention the distinct lack of warmth that met her when she greeted previously friendly colleagues.

Tony Gates fared no better the next day, in fact, even worse as he had never been shy in disobeying his attendings , Pratt in particular, as well as generally rubbing people up the wrong way. For many, his downfall had been seen as long overdue.

Under pressure from barely concealed hostility, Katey wasn't long in seeking a transfer to another hospital in Seattle. Meantime, the hospital board had needed little extra persuasion to scrutinise Gates's record as an intern more closely than strictly necessary.

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"Oh my God!" No prizes for guessing the speaker.

"Yeah, her last day's at the end of the month," noted Neela with satisfaction.

"And Gates?"

"The board strongly recommended that he take 2 weeks off to 'reflect on and review his working practices'. Gregg's already dreaming up various mundane but essential things for him to practise when he returns. I think he mentioned something about him needing to work on his stitches."

Abby chuckled, she was looking forward to returning to work. "And…?"

"What?" asked her friend innocently.

Abby playfully punched Neela's arm. "Don't 'What?' me. You and Ray?"

Neela couldn't help beaming. "We're doing fine."


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** I'll never own ER however much I wish otherwise

**Note: **At last the end is nigh! This fic has become longer than I ever imagined and while its been fun, its good to see the light at the end of the tunnel :D A further thanks to lillianne for her ideas x

* * *

Life was good, very good, stupendous in fact! Ray stretched out on the soft mattress before holding Neela tighter against him. Dark head on his chest, Neela was still dozing and she snuffled sleepily as she felt the warm strength of his arms around her. 

Since Katey's departure a month past, their relationship had gone from strength to strength and work was progressing nicely as well. Ray's residency had increasingly demonstrated his maturity and potential to be a great attending if he chose to pursue that career path whilst Neela continued to impress Drs. Crenshaw and Dubenko with her considerable talent to learn and learn well.

Since his return from his enforced 'holiday', Gates had been remarkable in his new-found studiousness in maintaining a low profile and just getting on with his work.

All in all, it was a welcome calm after the previous storms. That said, Katey's leaving had not been altogether quiet. Even after her scheming had been revealed, she had still been determined to make a play for Ray despite his firm warnings to stay away from both him and his love.

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_Opening his locker at the end of another long shift, he found a __note written in Katey's distinctive hand asking him to meet just one final time so she could apologise and say goodbye._

_Although Ray often teased Neela about her fundamentally good soul which led her to always believe the best in people, it was also true but less well-known that Ray shared this goodness of heart and so he felt compelled to go and see her._

_At the pre-arranged time and place, Ray found his ex waiting for him and while things started out well enough, it wasn't long before her deeply-held fixation with him surfaced and she veered between cajoling, pleading and outright aggression to try to get him back. Silently, he sent up thanks that he had escaped when he did, it was scary seeing a side to her that he had no idea existed._

"_Ray, listen to me. I love you, just tell what I need to do, I'll do anything." He felt his anger towards her lessen as she spoke, it was just getting a bit pathetic really._

_As he regarded Katey in silence, a figure appeared next to him. He greeted her with a soft kiss. "Hey," his tone was gentle but his eyes betrayed affection._

"_Hey back," returned Neela. "Hi Katey."_

_Katey was stunned for a moment. "What's she doing here?" The words were practically spat out._

_Ray replied with wide-eyed innocence. "You said you just wanted to meet to say bye so I thought it would be nice for Neela to join in as well. No hard feelings and all that."_

_If looks could kill, Neela would have been sliced into little pieces and Ray would be a puddle of gore. With no suitable retort, Katey swept out with a vicious "Go to Hell!"_

_The former roomies stared at each other in astonishment before bursting into laughter which grew uncontrollable as all the excess, pent-up tension that had built up was finally released. _

_Neela wiped a tear from her eye. "Ahh, that was great. I really thought that I wanted to knock her out but that was even better!"_

_It was true. Had Neela physically attacked her, Katey would have had no hesitation in rising to the occasion. However, with such a show of togetherness and conciliatory overtures, it was clear to Katey that there was nothing more she could do to split them up. For Ray and Neela, it was as satisfying a victory as they could have wanted._

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Neela's pager buzzed for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning. _Another ER consult. At least, she might get to see Ray._

She caught Morris. "Someone paged for a consult?"

"Uh, yeah, Exam 2."

Neela made her way to the small room that had its blinds closed and knocked before entering.

"So tell me the problem." She said as she closed the door behind her.

"Heart trouble."

Neela looked up at the sound of Ray's voice and her eyes went wide and her mouth gaped.

He was standing by the bed, two fluted glasses and a bottle on the small table next to him.

She bit her lip slightly nervously but played along. "What type of heart trouble? Symptoms?"

"Increased heart rate, occasional sweating, sometimes dull aching." His voice was clear.

"Huh." She stepped closer to him. "Do we know the causes?"

"Yeah. Increased heart rate when the cause is in close proximity, sweating when very, very close and the aching occurs when the cause is far away."

"Sounds serious."

"That's why I paged you, I think you would help cure it." Ray closed the remaining steps between them then dropped to one knee whilst pulling out a small velvet box which he opened to reveal a simple white gold band with a single small diamond that was only noticeable when it caught the light. Elegantly understated but full of class, just like the woman standing in front of him.

He took her hand in his.

"Neela, will you make me the happiest guy in the world by marrying me?"

"If it also means a cure for a guy with a bad heart condition, then yes. I will. I love you Ray." She smiled broadly as he slid the ring onto her finger before standing, sweeping her up and kissing her passionately.

When they broke apart, Ray picked up the bottle and began to pour amber liquid into the glasses. He shrugged a little sheepishly. "Afraid it's just apple juice since we _are_ at work and all."

"That's ok, we can celebrate properly after," said Neela as she clinked her glass against his, her eyes shining with promises of a long and pleasurable night.

---------------------------------

On the other side of the small window on the door, the faces of Archie, Hope, Abby, Luka and Chuny were pressed against the glass, a sight so comical that had the newly engaged couple seen would have sent them into fits of laughter.

"That's so beautiful, I think I'm going to cry," sniffed Hope as Archie gave her shoulder a squeeze.

Abby leaned her head on Luka's shoulder while sharing a soppy smile with Chuny.

"What's going on?" Gates's voice sounded behind them. As one, the group glanced at him before parting a little to let him see into the exam room.

One look inside sent Gates moving off wordlessly, face clouded.

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**Note:** Ok, my patient readers, one more installment to go. Having come this far, the OCD in me made me feel I had to make it an even 20 chapters.

Apologies for the descent into Mills and Boon territory :p


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:**I don't and will never own ER

**Note:**Here it is, the final chapter…

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"Well…what do you think?" asked Neela as she turned slowly in front of her friends who gave no answer. Instead, Hope's eyes had begun to well up and Abby was definitely showing signs of a tear or two. Neela's brow furrowed with amused concern. "Oh, don't you two or you'll set me off as well!"

The other two women grinned watery grins and hugged the bride-to-be. In keeping with her usual style, Neela's dress was cut simply, a white gown that comprised of a fitted, strapless bodice that floated out in an A-line full length skirt with matching satin shoes and topped off with a simple pearl tiara and light veil.

Abby was honoured to be her friend's matron of honour and although she may not immediately have sprung to mind as an obvious choice, Neela was pleased to have Hope as her bridesmaid, so enthusiastic was she when she realised another ER wedding was on the cards.

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_This is so different from last time._ Abby reflected on the past. Before, the arrangements had been rushed and Neela had opted for traditional dress in keeping with her family's roots. This time, though, her dress was in keeping with another part of her cultural background. In addition, this event, with Hope's help, was a much more organised affair and though it was not a particularly large wedding, she had been able to bring the bride's parents and the groom's mother to attend as well as any other close friends. How Hope had managed such a feat remained a mystery to the couple but they were grateful for the blonde intern's powers of bringing people together. To add to her already impressive credit, she had been able to book a large hall for the event and had tastefully decorated the space. Abby was sure that if Hope ever decided to leave medicine, she would carve out a successful career as a wedding planner!

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A last deep breath and with respective bouquets in hand, the women listened for the first notes of the wedding march then stepped out from the side-room and into the hall.

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"This is it, man," Gregg clapped Ray on the shoulder. "No more freedom, tied to domestic chores forever and constant nagging. Congratulations!" he teased the groom good-naturedly.

"Yup, under the thumb but what a thumb," Ray bantered back with a smile.

Gregg pulled him into a manly hug. "Seriously, man, you're a lucky guy and she's a lucky girl. I'm just going to go check on things, see you out there."

"Wow, I never thought I would see the day that Ray Barnett got snared. And to Dr. Neela, no less!" Brett straightened the collar of Ray's dark charcoal suit, one of the rare times when Ray would be seen in a full suit-and-tie.

"Yeah, it's crazy, huh?" Ray replied to his best man who had also made the concession to the dress code although his own tie had been left loosely done up in an artful manner. "I'm glad you're here, though."

"I'm glad to be here, wouldn't have missed this for the world." The young men went out into the hall to take their places by the female registrar. Met by what seemed to be a sea of faces all beaming at him, Ray felt so many butterflies that he thought his stomach would take-off at any second. As he looked round about him, the registrar gave him a reassuring smile and nod.

As the music started, Brett leaned towards Ray, "It's show-time."

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As she began the steady walk up the aisle, Neela's eyes found Ray's and they shared a look that spoke volumes of their love for each other. Ray was transfixed by the beauty of his bride and looking back, he found that could not remember the ceremony in precise detail, just that they both had eventually voiced their vows and "I do's" and kissed to the delight of their tearful assembled guests.

With the serious part of the day now over, the happy couple thoroughly encouraged everyone to kick back and enjoy themselves, encouragement that was used to full advantage and whilst they were still in more or less full possession of their faculties, Ray, Brett and the rest of the band played a few numbers that received enthusiastic applause and cheers.

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Dancing cheek-to-chest, Neela knew that in Ray's arms was where she always would be.

Ray breathed in her delicate scent as they were pressed together as decently as possible in public.

Their eyes were locked in an unwavering gaze as they twirled amongst the other couples.

Not for a second did their eyes leave each other.

Neela and Ray.

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**Note:** Hope u all liked the ending xx 


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